You know your a Junior Hurler when!
You spend all winter on the beer speculating on who will be brought in to manage the Junior Hurling team for the coming year.
.The hardest tackle you will make all year is in an indoor soccer match in January
When you break your brother-in-law's leg.
There are 35 at training under lights on a bitter Febuary night ( unfit but enthusiastic) - the average for August is 7 (unfit, sick of training and making silage) (I can name three straightaway)
The club treasurer spends some time at the A.G.M lamenting the yearly cost of running a club and especially the bill for Hurley's; a month later , the team is being urged to "give'em timber lads - we have plenty of hurleys on the sideline..."(Ann!!!-Club Person of the year mind you)
When you go for a pick-up, you tap the ball at least twice on the hurley before you fumble it.
Ground hurling is for juveniles and camogie players (Some would differ)
The full forward has his son and grand nephew in the corners.
The grand nephew is two years older.
For a 2:30 throw-in, you start packing your gear-bag at 2:40 and still manage to be on the field before the referee even arrives.
You can get a match called off because your star player is playing divisional under-16 the following week.
Your tight marking corner back never gives an inch - except of course, when the ball gets inside his own 50 and he charges out after it with all the other backs, forgetting that the other team are even on the field. (Donoghue)
Your goalie lets in a sitter every second game - this usually happens after you have scored 5 points from play to reel in a difficult half-time deficit. (Spare B-Special goalie-Webpage Designer)
Or in the first minute if it is a final.
Your full-forward can't score but "he's a good man to bust up the play".
Your centre-forward can't score either but "he'll stop a good man from hurling".
Your championship is either a
round robin that requires you to play six games to eliminate one team,
or a knockout starting in October.
Any members of your panel that claim to have back injuries
are either lazy or completely daft - unless you can see blood, bruises
or bandages, they are making it up.(?????)
Before every match, the
forwards are told to stay wide and not bunch - but this is not what
happens. The only time any forward goes wide is to take a sideline cut
or if they are looking for water.
Your backs play from behind waving a hurley with one hand
whilst resting the other on the forward's back - this is why all your
scores and all their scores come from frees.
You can't field a team during
the fortnight of the Leaving Cert.
Your star player always has one other brother "that
was even better, but he couldn't stay off the drink".
Your left-corner-back plays at No.4
because he can only strike off his left side. (Who
could that be!!)(Donoghue again)
Ditto No.7 (Donoghue's younger Brother, who is keeping Intel free of flys-with his nightly patrols with his rolled up echo)
The more people instruct you to "let fly if you don't get it up first time", the more you ignore them.